In which Loki moves back to Denver, at last.

It was at last time for Loki to leave his temporary lair in Houston, Texas, to return to Denver. But not before a few loose ends were to be tied.

So we meet again, House of Pies.

Very funny, mortal. And by very funny, I mean you will choke on your own blood.

Bring forth your strongest warrior!

If that is the best you can do, truly you are defeated. 

Loki approved of the motif on his conveyance. 

At a gas station, an old friend made herself known. 

"Together, we shall take this realm by storm!"

After a hot dog break.

Extra long, indeed.

As is most appropriate, a snickers blizzard.

Hm. Oops.

Someone has mis-folded the map. How... evil.

After a day of traveling, time for a relaxing bath.

Very funny, Wendy.

In Oklahoma, we came across one of Loki's favorite mortal restaurants.

But ended up elsewhere. Stupid unadventurous mortals. Not evil enough.

What's Australian for kneel?

Like a slumber party. An evil slumber party.

Another old friend was found. 

Not funny. Not funny at all.

I find your offering of crayons to be inadequate, Chili's!

He took a moment to make his mortal's hat infinitely more pimp.

Wendy punch!

And at last, the triumphant return to big sky country.

And a well-earned Boulder veggie bowl. Even not-really-evil-just-misunderstood gods go through vegetable withdrawal eventually.

The end.

Loki's Continuing Adventures in Houston: In Which There Is Pie

Another day, another hive of pitiful mortal activity to be subjugated.

Everything is, indeed, bigger in Texas. Loki is forced to wonder for what the mortals are compensating.

Loki demands that he be brought the fiercest champion of the House of Pies.

"All of your precious strawberry jam is mine, mortals! AHAHAHAHA!"

More strawberry jam, or perhaps the blood of his wounded foe? You are defeated, Monte Cristo - COUNT on it.

Loki first takes a moment to simply roll in the bounty of pies offered unto him by the trembling waitress. He expects no less.

The Monte Cristo did not prove a worthy foe. He demands a new champion, the so-called 'house specialty' of this temple of pies.

A mighty battle ensues.

"Admit your defeat, cursed Bayou Goo!"

The noble pie's stillness is answer enough. Loki takes a moment to savor his victory before succumbing to a food coma.

Next time, House of Pies. Next time.

In which Loki moves to Houston (with Rachael): a tale told (mostly) in pictures

Loki, for reasons entirely his own but no doubt both devilish and nefarious, decided to move to Houston on the backs of his two hapless mortal minions, Mike and Rachael.

They departed Denver bright an early on Sunday morning.

The scenery quickly became less interesting.

And then Kansas.

Which both claimed I-70 was its main street (Loki scoffed) and had more than its fair share of road construction. "Tiresome," Loki commented.

As prairie dogs were so numerous as to warrant their own towns, and apparently came in varieties that grew up to 50 feet tall, Loki considered their merits as a secondary army.

Even gods require food.

Perhaps the most curious variant of corn available in Kansas.

The proximity to a gas pump let Loki feel even more evil and powerful, though he wasn't quite certain why.

"Kneel before me, mortals of Oklahoma," was Loki's only comment. Being that there were no people in sight, but quite a few cows, and all the cows were in various states of prostration, he found that acceptable for the time being.

Though even he grew weary after a time.

Loki noted a distinct lack of both the wind sweeping down the plains, or the waving wheat smelling at all sweet.

Camp was made and Mythbusters was watched.

On the morrow, Loki kept close watch on the mortal hotel clerk.

Oklahoma's finest were suitably intimidated by his presence.

The God of Mischief may be temporarily appeased by a cherry limeade. But only temporarily.

"We shall see who is truly alarmed, pitiful mortal device!"

At last, the apartment was reached, and Loki's minions set to carrying his many belongings inside and arranging them to his satisfaction.

While for his part, Loki defeated a sandwich in a most epic battle of wits and strength.

And rewarded himself with a sugary confection after.

"I shall have my internet, mortal cable technician, or I shall know the reason why!"

At last, things temporarily arranged to his satisfaction, Loki rested. 

Goodnight, Loki.