Yes, I am in England, which means I get to see it before most of my friends HAHAHAHA
Needles to say, SPOILERS.
Showing posts with label liveblog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label liveblog. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Liveblog of Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale
So apparently this is a thing. Which I have been lucky enough to find on British television at 0200, and how can you say no to cannibal Santa Claus?
We join our show, already in progress. Any mistakes in detail, please forgive because it's early in the morning and the movie is subtitled in English with dialog in Finnish.
We join our show, already in progress. Any mistakes in detail, please forgive because it's early in the morning and the movie is subtitled in English with dialog in Finnish.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Liveblog of 180
Okay, as promised. You guys are awesome and donated over $200 to the Red Cross, so I'm here to take my punishment. I'm going to watch the Ray Comfort "documentary" 180, a copy of which was left on my buddy David's windshield one day when he was parked near a Planned Parenthood. (That this particular Planned Parenthood is not a location that offers abortion services is neither here nor there.)
If for some perverse and awful reason you would like to play along at home. You can actually watch this entire thing on youtube. Sorry, can't bring myself to embed this one on my blog.
If you want to watch this update live, you'll have to go to the blog page and reload it every few minutes. I'll update entries elsewhere once I'm done with the liveblog.
T-minus seven minutes to suffering time.
This is the cover of the DVD, by the way. I'm thinking there's some false advertisement to the "hottest movie" on the internet thing. I'm pretty sure porn could be characterized as hotter, for example. And any bootleg of a movie that involves Tom Hiddleston will also win on the hot factor.
But apparently my world is going to be rocked for 33 minutes. Come at me, bro.
1300 - The DVD menu music is a dramatic piano riff that sounds like something you'd expect in, say, The Sixth Sense while there's a montage going on, or perhaps Bruce Willis walking around and looking really concerned. It ends with the sound of a heartbeat. Hoo boy.
1302 - I'm hitting play now. I just want it to be noted that I will apparently do anything for the Red Cross. Think of me fondly, farewell cruel world!
1303 - The movie starts with a black haired girl who apparently does not know who Adolf Hitler is. What in the fuck. Where did he find this person?
1303 - Ray Comfort is Jewish and deeply concerned about stock footage of Nazis.
1304 - This man has the most nasal, squeaky Australian accent I have ever heard in my life. He sounds as if he's been huffing helium between takes. Not sure if this is going to make my job more difficult or more palatable.
1305 - Ray Comfort is concerned about people forgetting the Holocaust. He gives some background on Holocaust education in Germany and other countries in Europe.
1306 - Oh look, he's managed to dig up more people who don't know who Hitler is! Seriously? I wonder how many people he had to ambush on the street to find these. Because ffs, anyone who has ever been on the internet knows who the fuck Hitler is.
1307 - I know this is jumping ahead since I know what the video is about, but basically this is a 33-minute-long Godwin, right?
1307 - Steve the Neo-Nazi. He has a startling mohawk, which is blue. I don't think Hitler would have gone for that, to be honest.
1307 - Apparently Christianity is a Jewish trick but Steve the Neo-Nazi is not fooled because he's Greek. This is a quote. But make no mistake, Steve is an awful human being. An awful, awful human being. And I do think Ray Comfort deserves a small salute for pointing out that Steve and people like him are awful, and also completely incoherent hate spewing horrors.
1309 - Okay. Still asking people who Hitler is. Some of them know. Maybe he ran out of people didn't know since he already found like the only twelve on the planet who have been living in a box their entire lives.
1310 - The piano riff starts back up as he talks to another awful human being who believes the world is run by Jews. I assume this is to point out to us that this is both Important and Very Bad. Unlike Steve the Horrible Mohawked Neo-Nazi, this guy's face is blurred out. An awful person with a sense of shame, perhaps?
1311 - I'll give Ray Comfort this. He's figured out that just letting the awful people talk pretty much makes his point for him that they are awful. However, I'm still waiting for this to get around to abortion so I can start beating my head against my desk.
1313 - Okay, next question he's asking people on the street - if you could kill Hitler before WWII, would you? Either by shooting him as an adult or killing his pregnant mom. It's an interesting ethical question, one which I have a feeling will not be done justice in this film. For some strange reason.
1314 - More stock footage showing the dead of the Holocaust. Starting to feel like those awful PETA videos where it's intercut with footage of slaughterhouses.
1315 - Well, at least he's not claiming that Hitler was an Atheist. Ray Comfort touches very lightly on some of Hitler's religious views (which are very complicated and weird and wikipedia can get you started) that he's plainly cherry-picked and then calls him an idolater, which is... different.
1319 - More horrifying stock footage. I'll note that some of it is actually photographs that have had a "old time film effect" run over it. There is also now a quote from a witness to the carnage read in a rather thick, nearly comical German accent, except the content isn't comical so I feel kind of gross about it.
1320 - Back to people on the street and now Ray Comfort asks if the people would comply with Nazi orders to bury Jews alive and aid in the Holocaust. If I pretend I don't know the point of the video, I can find it interesting, though I do have to wonder why he's so stuck on Nazis if he wants to talk about abortion.
1323 - "You value human life? How do you feel about abortion?" OH AND THERE WE GO. Because burying adults and children alive or shooting them is totally the same as a woman having an abortion.
1324 - The music would like you to know this is very sad.
1325 - "Finish this sentence for me - it's okay to kill a baby in the womb when..." Oh Ray Comfort, you are totally gross.
1325 - So apparently having an abortion is equivalent to blowing up a building that may or may not have people inside? What?
1326 - Wow, a girl that had an abortion and says she doesn't feel bad about it.
1327 - More equating burying Jewish people alive with abortion. Gross, Ray Comfort. Gross.
1327 - The safest place on Earth is in a mother's womb? Maybe we should store jewelry in there!
1328 - So this is the thing Ray Comfort. You don't get to decide for other people. Fuck off.
1329 - Oh boy and now he's saying you can't value human life and believe women have a right to choose. Well, we all know women aren't actually human life, right? Argh I want to punch this man in the face so much.
1330 - Girl with sunglasses, you are awesome.
1330 - Wow Ray Comfort you are a gross human being. So very gross. Wow and then there's shots of people being like oh okay I guess a woman choosing what will be done with her own body is the same as Hitler "choosing" to kill Jews.
1332 - Yes girl on the street, it sounds bad when he puts it in those words because it's a disingenuous false dichotomy pushed on you by a gross person.
1333 - Well, I shouldn't be surprised that suddenly everyone in Ray Comfort's video gets argued around by his amazing logical fallacy skills.
1334 - Whee the American Holocaust! Gross, Ray Comfort. Gross.
1335 - Apparently we have low moral standards because we've freed ourselves from the Ten Commandments what?
1335 - No Ray Comfort, this is not an honest discussion you're having to change people's minds.
1336 - OH HEY GUYS I FOUND THE ATHEIST IN THE VIDEO! It's... STEVE THE NEO-NAZI. Well, glad we got that out of the way.
1337 - "Have you ever looked at a guy with lust?" "Nah, I'm gay." Wow, you are awesome, lesbian lady.
1338 - So apparently people don't want to believe in God because we're afraid of him because we lie and blaspheme and commit adultery by being lustful. Oh my goodness I just rolled my eyes so hard it hurt. Because people who don't believe in Hell are totally afraid of it? LOGIC YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.
1341 - There is stuff written on my heart? I think I might need some medical attention.
1342 - Now we're just into sheer proselytizing and I'm falling asleep. Can we just get back to the Nazis?
1343 - When is a raven like a writing desk? When Jesus is like a parachute.
1344 - Aaaaaaaaand we're back to Nazis.
1344 - Talking about people visiting the concentration camps and being horrified. And then he suggests visiting an abortion clinic. Because they are so like in every way. (/sarcasm)
1345 - Ray Comfort would like everyone to see his documentary. And buy his book, Hitler, God, and the Bible. You know. Just putting that out there.
1346 - And we're done with a dramatic string piece. Well, this wasn't so much funny as infuriating, since I just wanted to reach through the screen and shake people. This is a bullshit argument that equates very different things in a false, emotionally manipulative, and disingenuous manner. A woman making a decision about what goes on within her own body is in no way equatable with a crazy, awful person taking power and ordering the death of millions of people who were born and living their lives. And frankly, I think his schtick is a pretty shameful appropriation of the suffering of the Jewish people.
HEY RAY COMFORT WANTS TO TALK ABOUT NAZIS!
Needless to say, 33 minutes later my world is un-rocked. I really could have lived without seeing a bunch of ignorant people get unmercifully Godwinned by a giant Australian weasel with a pouch full of fallacies.
I think I'll do a different liveblog maybe today or next week to cleanse my palate. Maybe Metal Tornado will get a whirl after all.
If for some perverse and awful reason you would like to play along at home. You can actually watch this entire thing on youtube. Sorry, can't bring myself to embed this one on my blog.
If you want to watch this update live, you'll have to go to the blog page and reload it every few minutes. I'll update entries elsewhere once I'm done with the liveblog.
T-minus seven minutes to suffering time.
But apparently my world is going to be rocked for 33 minutes. Come at me, bro.
1300 - The DVD menu music is a dramatic piano riff that sounds like something you'd expect in, say, The Sixth Sense while there's a montage going on, or perhaps Bruce Willis walking around and looking really concerned. It ends with the sound of a heartbeat. Hoo boy.
1302 - I'm hitting play now. I just want it to be noted that I will apparently do anything for the Red Cross. Think of me fondly, farewell cruel world!
1303 - The movie starts with a black haired girl who apparently does not know who Adolf Hitler is. What in the fuck. Where did he find this person?
1303 - Ray Comfort is Jewish and deeply concerned about stock footage of Nazis.
1304 - This man has the most nasal, squeaky Australian accent I have ever heard in my life. He sounds as if he's been huffing helium between takes. Not sure if this is going to make my job more difficult or more palatable.
1305 - Ray Comfort is concerned about people forgetting the Holocaust. He gives some background on Holocaust education in Germany and other countries in Europe.
1306 - Oh look, he's managed to dig up more people who don't know who Hitler is! Seriously? I wonder how many people he had to ambush on the street to find these. Because ffs, anyone who has ever been on the internet knows who the fuck Hitler is.
1307 - I know this is jumping ahead since I know what the video is about, but basically this is a 33-minute-long Godwin, right?
1307 - Steve the Neo-Nazi. He has a startling mohawk, which is blue. I don't think Hitler would have gone for that, to be honest.
1307 - Apparently Christianity is a Jewish trick but Steve the Neo-Nazi is not fooled because he's Greek. This is a quote. But make no mistake, Steve is an awful human being. An awful, awful human being. And I do think Ray Comfort deserves a small salute for pointing out that Steve and people like him are awful, and also completely incoherent hate spewing horrors.
1309 - Okay. Still asking people who Hitler is. Some of them know. Maybe he ran out of people didn't know since he already found like the only twelve on the planet who have been living in a box their entire lives.
1310 - The piano riff starts back up as he talks to another awful human being who believes the world is run by Jews. I assume this is to point out to us that this is both Important and Very Bad. Unlike Steve the Horrible Mohawked Neo-Nazi, this guy's face is blurred out. An awful person with a sense of shame, perhaps?
1311 - I'll give Ray Comfort this. He's figured out that just letting the awful people talk pretty much makes his point for him that they are awful. However, I'm still waiting for this to get around to abortion so I can start beating my head against my desk.
1313 - Okay, next question he's asking people on the street - if you could kill Hitler before WWII, would you? Either by shooting him as an adult or killing his pregnant mom. It's an interesting ethical question, one which I have a feeling will not be done justice in this film. For some strange reason.
1314 - More stock footage showing the dead of the Holocaust. Starting to feel like those awful PETA videos where it's intercut with footage of slaughterhouses.
1315 - Well, at least he's not claiming that Hitler was an Atheist. Ray Comfort touches very lightly on some of Hitler's religious views (which are very complicated and weird and wikipedia can get you started) that he's plainly cherry-picked and then calls him an idolater, which is... different.
1319 - More horrifying stock footage. I'll note that some of it is actually photographs that have had a "old time film effect" run over it. There is also now a quote from a witness to the carnage read in a rather thick, nearly comical German accent, except the content isn't comical so I feel kind of gross about it.
1320 - Back to people on the street and now Ray Comfort asks if the people would comply with Nazi orders to bury Jews alive and aid in the Holocaust. If I pretend I don't know the point of the video, I can find it interesting, though I do have to wonder why he's so stuck on Nazis if he wants to talk about abortion.
1323 - "You value human life? How do you feel about abortion?" OH AND THERE WE GO. Because burying adults and children alive or shooting them is totally the same as a woman having an abortion.
1324 - The music would like you to know this is very sad.
1325 - "Finish this sentence for me - it's okay to kill a baby in the womb when..." Oh Ray Comfort, you are totally gross.
1325 - So apparently having an abortion is equivalent to blowing up a building that may or may not have people inside? What?
1326 - Wow, a girl that had an abortion and says she doesn't feel bad about it.
1327 - More equating burying Jewish people alive with abortion. Gross, Ray Comfort. Gross.
1327 - The safest place on Earth is in a mother's womb? Maybe we should store jewelry in there!
1328 - So this is the thing Ray Comfort. You don't get to decide for other people. Fuck off.
1329 - Oh boy and now he's saying you can't value human life and believe women have a right to choose. Well, we all know women aren't actually human life, right? Argh I want to punch this man in the face so much.
1330 - Girl with sunglasses, you are awesome.
1330 - Wow Ray Comfort you are a gross human being. So very gross. Wow and then there's shots of people being like oh okay I guess a woman choosing what will be done with her own body is the same as Hitler "choosing" to kill Jews.
1332 - Yes girl on the street, it sounds bad when he puts it in those words because it's a disingenuous false dichotomy pushed on you by a gross person.
1333 - Well, I shouldn't be surprised that suddenly everyone in Ray Comfort's video gets argued around by his amazing logical fallacy skills.
1334 - Whee the American Holocaust! Gross, Ray Comfort. Gross.
1335 - Apparently we have low moral standards because we've freed ourselves from the Ten Commandments what?
1335 - No Ray Comfort, this is not an honest discussion you're having to change people's minds.
1336 - OH HEY GUYS I FOUND THE ATHEIST IN THE VIDEO! It's... STEVE THE NEO-NAZI. Well, glad we got that out of the way.
1337 - "Have you ever looked at a guy with lust?" "Nah, I'm gay." Wow, you are awesome, lesbian lady.
1338 - So apparently people don't want to believe in God because we're afraid of him because we lie and blaspheme and commit adultery by being lustful. Oh my goodness I just rolled my eyes so hard it hurt. Because people who don't believe in Hell are totally afraid of it? LOGIC YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.
1341 - There is stuff written on my heart? I think I might need some medical attention.
1342 - Now we're just into sheer proselytizing and I'm falling asleep. Can we just get back to the Nazis?
1343 - When is a raven like a writing desk? When Jesus is like a parachute.
1344 - Aaaaaaaaand we're back to Nazis.
1344 - Talking about people visiting the concentration camps and being horrified. And then he suggests visiting an abortion clinic. Because they are so like in every way. (/sarcasm)
1345 - Ray Comfort would like everyone to see his documentary. And buy his book, Hitler, God, and the Bible. You know. Just putting that out there.
1346 - And we're done with a dramatic string piece. Well, this wasn't so much funny as infuriating, since I just wanted to reach through the screen and shake people. This is a bullshit argument that equates very different things in a false, emotionally manipulative, and disingenuous manner. A woman making a decision about what goes on within her own body is in no way equatable with a crazy, awful person taking power and ordering the death of millions of people who were born and living their lives. And frankly, I think his schtick is a pretty shameful appropriation of the suffering of the Jewish people.
HEY RAY COMFORT WANTS TO TALK ABOUT NAZIS!
Needless to say, 33 minutes later my world is un-rocked. I really could have lived without seeing a bunch of ignorant people get unmercifully Godwinned by a giant Australian weasel with a pouch full of fallacies.
I think I'll do a different liveblog maybe today or next week to cleanse my palate. Maybe Metal Tornado will get a whirl after all.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Final Presidential Debate Liveblog
So, going in to this, I have one thought: if President Obama can't manage to win a debate on foreign policy against Mitt Romney, he doesn't deserve to remain president. Frankly, Mitt Romney has been incoherent in every foreign policy statement I've ever heard him make - which basically boils down to "Uh I have no idea let's bomb shit in the Middle East. And Benghazi! Yeah!"
I'm planning to drink every time Benghazi and Iran get mentioned. Chugging when Obama mentions we killed Osama bin Laden. I shall also chug if Mitt Romney has the solid iron balls necessary to try to lie about the President calling Benghazi an act of terror again. Because I'm really just wondering how much of Fox News alternate reality we'll hear.
Anyway. T-minus ten minutes until we start. I'll update about every 10 minutes or so and become no doubt less coherent as the night goes on.
I'm planning to drink every time Benghazi and Iran get mentioned. Chugging when Obama mentions we killed Osama bin Laden. I shall also chug if Mitt Romney has the solid iron balls necessary to try to lie about the President calling Benghazi an act of terror again. Because I'm really just wondering how much of Fox News alternate reality we'll hear.
Anyway. T-minus ten minutes until we start. I'll update about every 10 minutes or so and become no doubt less coherent as the night goes on.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Vice Presidential debate liveblog
Okay, going to not quite liveblog this, since we're probably going to start just a bit late and DVR is magical. But I'll still update as we watch, about every 10 minutes or so.
So, I am looking forward to this debate. A lot. More than any presidential debate, for certain. (The president has to have decorum. Joe Biden is there to say the shit we're all thinking, right?) The VP debate from four years ago was the drunkest I'd been in quite a while (thank you Sarah Palin). I doubt this one will be quite that fun, though I think if I drink every time Paul Ryan lies and Joe Biden smiles in an eerie, toothy way, I'll be smashed in no time at all.
I honestly love Vice President Biden. That man has never met a script he wouldn't immediately run away from as fast as possible. And he will always have a special place in my heart for baldly schooling Sarah Palin on Dick Cheney being the worst vice president ever. All the while grinning to show what shockingly white, wolfish teeth he has. I felt like he went out of his way to be nice to Sarah Palin so he wouldn't look mean; I think this will be a test of that hypothesis since Paul Ryan is made of plastic and has no feelings for Joe Biden to spare.
So yes. This ought to be fun. Waiting to see how many things Paul Ryan says that the campaign will then immediately deny because lying baldly and then walking it back quietly later is an excellent strategy.
Five minutes until starting time!
AND HERE WE GO
So, I am looking forward to this debate. A lot. More than any presidential debate, for certain. (The president has to have decorum. Joe Biden is there to say the shit we're all thinking, right?) The VP debate from four years ago was the drunkest I'd been in quite a while (thank you Sarah Palin). I doubt this one will be quite that fun, though I think if I drink every time Paul Ryan lies and Joe Biden smiles in an eerie, toothy way, I'll be smashed in no time at all.
I honestly love Vice President Biden. That man has never met a script he wouldn't immediately run away from as fast as possible. And he will always have a special place in my heart for baldly schooling Sarah Palin on Dick Cheney being the worst vice president ever. All the while grinning to show what shockingly white, wolfish teeth he has. I felt like he went out of his way to be nice to Sarah Palin so he wouldn't look mean; I think this will be a test of that hypothesis since Paul Ryan is made of plastic and has no feelings for Joe Biden to spare.
So yes. This ought to be fun. Waiting to see how many things Paul Ryan says that the campaign will then immediately deny because lying baldly and then walking it back quietly later is an excellent strategy.
Five minutes until starting time!
AND HERE WE GO
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
First Presidential Debate Liveblog
Okay, so let's see what snark I can come up with between drinks. I have come well prepared with beer, cider (thanks Isaac) and THE KRAKEN.
Pre-debate show is on. Still can't believe they closed down I-25. Way to make everyone in Denver hate both candidates.
Pre-debate show is on. Still can't believe they closed down I-25. Way to make everyone in Denver hate both candidates.
Sunday, July 08, 2012
In which I take you along on a magical journey through an online defensive driving course
No, I am not taking a defensive driving course because I did something terrible involving anteaters behind the wheel of a car. I've had a modest (cough) number of speeding tickets in my day, less now that I no longer own a motorcycle (but that will be fixed once I'm no longer poor bwahahaha) and at the moment I don't even have a car to begin with. I'm taking the defensive driving course for work, since I'll be going on a field trip next week and it's one of those things that's required just in case I have to drive. (I also had to take Bloodborne Pathogens and re-up my CPR certification, which was actually nice to do.) My company is very, very serious about safety.
Which is probably why everyone looks so horrified when I inform them that I don't have a car and have to bike everywhere. In Houston. It's like having a death wish, apparently.
Unfortunately, I have a feeling that this is not going to be the most exciting four hours of my life as I take this course online. So I'm going to deal with it the way I deal with anything that involves staring at a screen and wanting to grind my teeth: sarcasm. This also guarantees I'll actually pay attention, since if you want to be properly bitchy about something you do actually have to know what's going on.
So. (Probably will be updated every 10 minutes or so. Except for the bit where I go to laundry.)
Which is probably why everyone looks so horrified when I inform them that I don't have a car and have to bike everywhere. In Houston. It's like having a death wish, apparently.
Unfortunately, I have a feeling that this is not going to be the most exciting four hours of my life as I take this course online. So I'm going to deal with it the way I deal with anything that involves staring at a screen and wanting to grind my teeth: sarcasm. This also guarantees I'll actually pay attention, since if you want to be properly bitchy about something you do actually have to know what's going on.
So. (Probably will be updated every 10 minutes or so. Except for the bit where I go to laundry.)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Bad Movie Liveblogging: Dante's Peak
It's a cassic, and I haven't seen it yet.
Get ready for bad geology in 3... 2... 1...
Get ready for bad geology in 3... 2... 1...
Monday, July 05, 2010
2012: The world ends in an explosion of bad dialog
1425: So here goes. I'm watching a horrible movie for the first time, and I'm going to try to write down my thoughts as I have them. We'll see if something clever results. Until then... previews. Whee!
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